YES! But starting counselling or therapy can feel like a big decision, and most of the time we’re looking for answers now. However, change takes time, so going into therapy with realistic expectations will keep you motivated and won’t bring up any (unwanted) surprises. Having said that, read on to see how therapy can help to tame your anxiety.
So here’s the scenario:
Things start pilling up, you start cutting out a few of your self care and coping strategies here and there to make sure you have the time and energy to keep up with new/more work, responsibilities, chores, stressors in your life (work, school, family, health, relationships). You’re noticing that things you wouldn’t expect and never have worried about before cause you a lot of stress. You find you’re way more indecisive than usual, you’re more irritable, and you avoid going places or doing things all together because it’s stressful to think about. This goes on for a few weeks until you’re out of your routine and spending a very disproportionate amount of time either doing things that cause more stress, or worrying about things that cause you stress.
Now you’re getting less sleep and find yourself more distracted. You’ve noticed changes in yourself but you feel like getting back to feeling in control over things is going to take a lot of work and energy. Rinse & repeat for a month or two…. and you’ve set up shop in Anxietyland! Does this seem familiar???
Therapy Doesn’t Have To Be A Last Ditch Effort
Starting therapy doesn’t have to happen just because you’re in a crisis. In fact, therapy can be even more useful in times of calm and health, because it leaves room for more than just managing you’re difficult emotions when they arise. Getting involved with a therapist before shit hits the fan gives you the chance to look at the root causes of anxiety, reprocess trauma associated with your anxiety, and learn how to rewire your brain so that those crises don’t pop up as often, or as severely. Therapy is what you make of it, and a good therapist will include you in creating the goals, and setting the tone that will guide your time together. It is a sacred, challenging, and joyous experience that should feel meaningful at any stage of life.
Anxiety= Avoidance, Therapy= Resolution
If you’ve done any research into anxiety, you’ve probably come across the words Avoidance & Exposure. Avoidance is the concept that the reactions or behaviors which anxiety tends to push us towards are ones that help us to avoid feeling anxious or upset. At first glance Avoidance probably sounds great! But Avoidance & Resolution are not the same thing…
To resolve an issue or stressor, you’re going to have to face it, think about it, and experience it, and that’s what therapy and counselling can help you with. Working with a therapist or counsellor will help you to see the root causes of your anxiety and come up with a plan to reduce or even eliminate it. And just showing up to Therapy can be your first step towards exposure because of what I call the ‘Anxiety/Therapy Paradox’. For many people, the idea of speaking to a therapist and digging into the roots of their anxiety, and what that might stir up, can be stressful enough to avoid doing it! But taking that first step often provides just enough evidence to start convincing people to hop onto the exposure train more and more often.
Therapy Makes Sense of Anxiety
When you engage in therapy regularly, you will learn, and come to believe that anxiety isn’t some inexplicable phenomenon that you have no control over.
It is equal parts biological (physical sensations), and cognitive (thoughts)-both of which you can make an impact on to reduce your anxiety and take back the ‘steering wheel’. Your anxiety makes sense. Whatever the reasons you’re struggling with racing thoughts, panic attacks, difficulty in social settings, or ruminating thoughts keeping you up…it makes sense!
They are logical reactions to what lies beneath your anxiety. So don’t be so hard on yourself.
Therapy is such a magical tool because it acts as a space where you can logically analyze what, how, and why you think, feel, and behave the way that you do. This is very different from you lying in your bed at two in the morning, tossing and turning, wondering why you feel this way. It’s also useful because the relationship between a therapist and a client is so unique… It’s not a friend, family member, or acquaintance. It is a 3rd party who you don’t have to worry about offending, worrying, or burdening, when you let what sits inside, out. Someone who can help you learn the big picture between you and your anxiety.
Therapy Is Good For Your Self Esteem & Helps To Rewire Your Brain.
A funny thing happens when you start going to therapy; maybe not at first, but eventually you start feeling like you did something to better yourself. You start comparing yourself to a version of yourself from a time when you sat in your thoughts, feelings, and experiences and just got upset. Instead, now you actively take action on a regular basis to improve your understanding of your problems…which is pretty badass!
This inevitably leads to feeling more confident, because no matter what you run up against today or tomorrow, you’ve got a place to go and tools to use to help you through. And that’s something to feel really good about. People also often start noticing their sense of self esteem organically growing as they have more confidence in their ability to manage their emotions and target their behavior to help them reach their goals.
Throughout this process we also develop new neural pathways in our brains, which is to say that we learn new ways of using the brain to help us solve our problems, and feel good. When we approach our problems with therapeutic support we have an added tool to change the ways in which our brain perceives experiences like stress, anger, and anxiety…which can be a really good thing!
Therapy has had a long proven history of helping to reduce the symptoms associated with anxiety. The relationship that you share with your therapist is often the most important factor in determining success in this regard, so it’s really important that you find someone you feel safe, and comfortable speaking with, and someone who you really feel is in your corner.
As someone who has struggled with anxiety for years, I know how difficult it can be to manage, and how negatively it can impact your everyday. Hopefully this post has given you a better sense of how a tool like Therapy can help with anxiety and eased you to the idea of it.
